Conflicted Innocence Read online

“That would mean a lot of travelling for you. It’s not as if there are many crimes committed in the sleepy Cumbrian villages,” I said.

  “Not many, but when there are they’re doozies!”

  He was referring to the rapist in our quaint home village, who turned out to be Vinny, the local police officer and one of the men I’d had a fling with. He’d even tried to kidnap me and God only knows what else he would have done if given the chance.

  We reached the end of the street and turned to the right.

  “We’ll go this way today as there’s a playground and a superette where we can grab some bread and milk. The other way leads to the primary school and the day care nursery.”

  “Okay.”

  “Most things are within walking distance, but we should sort you out a car as soon as we can.”

  “No hurry. I may not even need one. I’ve gone this far without, after mine went kaput.”

  We arrived at the store and bought a few essentials. Then we crossed the road to the playground. Most things were for older children, but Grace loved the circular, lie-down swing. She laughed hysterically while James pushed her and made monkey noises the whole time. My stomach ached from laughing at them both.

  “Hey, chimp, should we head back? Simon can’t be far away.”

  Grace screamed blue murder when James took her off the swing, and she refused to get back into the pushchair, so he swung her up onto his shoulders which seemed to do the trick.

  As we turned back onto the street, a scruffy old man almost slammed into me. He was dressed in a full-length dirty, grey coat, a dark green cap, and brown trousers that were much too long and had a three-inch fray trailing behind him.

  The man muttered something and spat at my feet.

  Chapter 2

  I squealed and jumped backwards to avoid the contents of the disgusting old man’s mouth, and twisted my ankle as I fell off the kerb. My leg was still fragile after breaking a bone while trying to escape from Vinny, and had been pinned and wrapped in a cast for weeks afterwards.

  James reached out to break my fall with one hand while holding on to Grace with the other. “I got you. Are you okay?”

  I took a couple of tentative steps, terrified of having to wear another cast. “I think so, no thanks to that idiot.”

  I watched as the nasty old man shuffled away without a backwards glance.

  “He’s okay, really. Just a bit of a fruit loop!”

  “You know him?” I screeched.

  “Yeah, he’s one of our neighbours. He is a little odd, but we used to have some intelligent conversations until he began talking to himself and twitching. He would be regularly abducted by aliens, and he would go into a lot of detail about some of the unspeakable things they did to him.”

  “Well, I won’t be having any conversations with him, intelligent or otherwise. He gives me the creeps.”

  “There’s no fear of that. He stopped making sense a long time ago.”

  I hobbled the rest of the way, leaning on the pushchair and feeling terribly sorry for myself.

  “The truck’s here.” James nodded up the street.

  Grace began grizzling, tired of being up so high, so James lifted her off his shoulders. “Daddy’s here, sweetheart. Do you want to see Daddy?”

  “Dada.”

  He gasped. “Did you hear that?”

  “I did!” I was amazed that my baby had said her very first word. “Say it again, Gracie. Say Dada.” I couldn’t wait to tell Simon.

  The truck doors opened as we approached. Kevin and Simon jumped out.

  “Hey, guys.” James handed Grace over to Simon.

  “Who’s Daddy’s favourite girl?” He swung her around, and she chuckled hysterically.

  Kevin hugged me and kissed the top of my head before slapping James on the back.

  “Did you have a good journey?” I asked.

  “Yeah. Cruisy, really,” Kevin replied. “Did you?”

  “Not bad, considering. Just over three hours in total. We stopped at the services to feed and change Missy-moo, and she slept the rest of the way.”

  Simon and Kevin lived in Manchester, approximately two hours away. They had loaded the truck with the furniture I wanted from the house I used to share with Simon, and then they drove up to collect Grace’s cot and some other stuff from my dad’s in Cumbria. Last night they’d stayed at Simon’s parents’ house in the next village, and we’d all set off at the same time this morning.

  Simon, out of breath from doing aeroplanes with Grace, handed her to Kevin. “Go and see Pop for a minute while I catch my breath.” He laughed. “She’s getting big now.” He made eyes at me as he fanned himself.

  “She just said Dada a minute ago,” James said, as Simon kissed me.

  Although the three of them were father figures to my daughter, there was a healthy rivalry between them.

  “You’re kidding me. That means I won. I told you she would say my name first,” Simon teased.

  “Shut up, you big kid!” I shoved him playfully in the stomach.”

  “No, you are,” he said.

  “No, you are,” I repeated.

  “And they’re off.” James rolled his eyes at Kevin.

  “Why are you so surprised? All they ever do is banter and bicker with each other.” Kevin laughed.

  We’d made our way to the front door as we were chatting, and James ushered us inside.

  “Right, first things first,” Kevin said. “Who’s putting the kettle on?”

  They all turned to look at me.

  “Why me? Because I’m the woman? You sexist brutes.”

  “Stop complaining and get in the kitchen where you belong,” Simon said.

  James gasped, and Kevin shook his head.

  “You’re on your own after that statement, kiddo.” Kevin shoved Simon away from him with a laugh.

  “She knows I’m only joking, don’t you, Geri?” Simon gushed.

  I looked at him disapprovingly, my hands on my hips.

  “Tell you what, how about I brew up?” he said.

  “That sounds great, thanks.” I nodded. “But any more of that sexist talk and you’ll be sleeping out in the truck tonight.”

  Grace was showing off on the carpet. She’d mastered getting from one place to another by rolling—fast.

  James knelt beside her and began playing with a large push button, textural fabric, bunny rabbit.

  After a yummy lunch of gourmet pork pies and a selection of delicious, but stinky, cheese, the boys prepared to empty the van.

  I put Grace down for her nap in the travel cot in the master bedroom. Then, I supervised the placing of all my worldly goods, which comprised of a tallboy, two leather armchairs, a coffee table, a set of outdoor furniture, a king-sized bed that would go in the spare room, and several boxes of pots, pans and knickknacks. Not a lot to show for almost thirty years on the planet.

  There was the furniture from Grace’s room too, as well as all her toys, clothes and bedding. She had nearly as much as me, and she wasn’t even one yet.

  Once we’d finished, Simon sat with Grace in the lounge while James and Kevin had a muscle flexing contest, while trying to erect her cot. I stood in the bedroom doorway laughing at their frustration because they couldn’t work it out.

  The doorbell rang, and James turned to face me. “Do you mind, love?”

  I nodded and padded down the stairs barefoot, feeling strange to be answering the door in someone else’s house. But it wasn’t someone else’s house anymore. I lived there now.

  An attractive blond man dressed in black chinos and a trendy paisley shirt, in vibrant oranges and greens, stood on the doorstep and took a step backwards when he saw me.

  “Oh, I’m sorry,” he said, trying to look past me into the hall. “I was looking for Jimmy.”

  “I’m up here, Lee,” James called from the top of the stairs.

  I smiled and opened the door wider for him to enter. “So you’re Lee. I’ve heard all about you.” I said,
shaking his hand. Lee lived next door and was James’ closest friend.

  “Geri, I presume?”

  “You presume right. Thanks for offering James a place in your office. I was worrying about how I would manage to keep Grace quiet while he was busy working.”

  “No skin off my nose. There’s an empty room going begging.” Lee sidestepped me and smiled warmly before heading up the stairs.

  I opened three bottles of lager and followed him.

  “Ah, here she is,” James said. “Geri, this is Lee, our next-door neighbour. Lee, meet the love of my life, Geraldine.”

  I shook my head and rolled my eyes as I handed him a bottle. “We’ve already met.”

  Lee took the bottle I offered him. “Thanks, and it is lovely to meet you at long last, Geri.”

  “Likewise,” I said.

  “It’s been too long. I’ve missed his ugly face.” Lee tipped his bottle at James.

  “Charming!” James laughed.

  I handed the third bottle to Kevin, who took a deep swig before going off in search of Simon, clearly tired of hanging around waiting for James to get on with the cot.

  “Oh, sorry. I see you’ve got your hands full.” Lee nodded at the partially erected cot. “Do you want a hand?”

  “You can’t do any worse than these two,” I said cheekily. “I wouldn’t mind, but James only took it apart last night.”

  “Let’s have a look.” Lee bent down and picked up a couple of bolts off the carpet.

  “Do you have kids, Lee?” I asked.

  Even though he had his back to me, I noticed the muscles in his back and shoulders tense.

  James shook his head, his eyes pleading with me to drop it. And I knew I’d put my foot in something stinky.

  “Erm...no. No, I don’t,” Lee said, straightening up.

  James quickly nodded at me to leave, and I shot out the door blabbering about deciding what to make for dinner.

  *

  We pigged out on takeaway fish and chips, and then an exhausted little girl went to bed in her perfectly erected cot, in her new bedroom. She didn’t seem to mind being in a strange room. Armed with her blanky and favourite teddy, she was out like a light.

  The house felt more alive. We’d set up the spare room for Simon and Kevin and changed the bedding on our bed. I was finally beginning to feel at home.

  My brown leather chairs fit snugly in the lounge, and James agreed to ditch his tatty, grey fabric chairs and buy a matching leather sofa instead. I high-fived Simon when James wasn’t looking.

  Once the washing-up was out of the way, we all sat back down at the dining table and opened another bottle of wine.

  Kevin thought himself a wine connoisseur, and Simon was also becoming a bit of a wine snob, but it seemed the more expensive the bottle, the more it resembled vinegar in my uneducated, peasant’s opinion.

  James didn’t drink very much. His mum had been an alcoholic, and I wasn’t sure if it was the fear of turning into a drunken mess like she had, or if he genuinely didn’t like the taste, but the occasional beer was more than enough for him. He didn’t mind the rest of us having a few, though.

  “So, tell me about Lee,” I asked James, who sat on the dining chair beside me, stroking my arm. “I’m pretty sure I put my foot in it earlier,”

  “Not a lot more to tell. You already know he’s the adjoining neighbour. We’ve become mates over the years, and he mows the grass when I’m away.”

  “So what’s the story with kids? I could have bitten my tongue off when I mentioned it earlier.”

  “His baby died—drowned actually—a few years ago now.”

  I gasped.

  “Trust you, big gob!” Simon teased.

  Kevin gave him a dig in the ribs.

  “Shut it, you,” I said and threw a screwed up paper napkin at him. “That’s awful, James. Were you friends with him then?” I asked.

  “Yes. I was quite close to him and his wife, Lydia. They’ve never got over his death.”

  “Are they still together?”

  “Not at the moment.” James smiled sadly and looked away.

  Clearly there was more to the story, but he didn’t seem to want to continue. I took the hint.

  “Right,” I said. “Who wants more cheese and crackers? We may as well eat the last of it. Kevin?”

  “Of course. I never say no to a decent Stinking Bishop.”

  “A what?” I screwed up my face.

  “The creamy, pungent one,” Kevin explained.

  “They’re all pungent!” James said. “I almost gagged when I went into the fridge for the milk earlier.”

  “That’s nothing. You want to smell some of the stuff he buys from a place near us. The guy sells it on the quiet because it’s illegal.”

  “Cheese?” I asked.

  “Yes, cheese.”

  “Are you kidding me? You mean to say there are some dodgy cheese dealers out there, selling under the counter cheeses?” I laughed raucously, the wine taking effect.

  “Cross my heart. And if you got a whiff of it you’d understand why!” Simon wafted his hand in front of his nose and made a face as though he was about to throw up.

  “You know, he makes me eat it in the car!” Kevin complained.

  “I refuse to have it in the house.” Simon nodded. “It stinks the whole house out like the worst case of sweaty feet you ever smelled.”

  “Yuk!” I shuddered. “Sounds revolting.”

  “I agree. It does stink something rotten, but the taste is divine. It’s more sweet than anything. I think you’d like it, Geri?”

  “I’ll take your word for it.” I grimaced.

  Chapter 3

  Lee returned home and changed into his scruffs before packing an overnight bag to take to the cottage he’d been renovating for the past two years. It wasn’t far from completion and, with a bit of luck, should be finished by the time Lydia arrived home in a few weeks.

  He couldn’t allow her to go to their present home. Too many people knew about Joseph, and the locals sported long memories, but nothing in the way of compassion or forgiveness. Lydia had paid the price, and he intended to see to it that she didn’t suffer any more than necessary.

  He never entertained the notion of not forgiving his wife. She hadn’t been in her right mind at the time. He knew it, yet still he chose to go away to work for a quiet life. So, in his eyes, that made him just as guilty.

  The ache and longing for their darling son never went away, but he knew she must feel it tenfold, being the one held legally accountable.

  Some people, his mum included, thought Lydia should be locked up for the rest of her life, but he knew her sentence would run long after her release from prison, and he wanted it to be as pain-free as possible.

  He inherited his parents’ property rental agency three years ago—after his dear old mum succumbed to the breast cancer she’d been fighting for the previous ten years, just two years after the sudden death of his dad.

  Lee chose the cottage because of its commute time to the agency in the centre of Nottingham—forty minutes on a good run. Far enough away for Lydia to be able to start again without being reminded of her actions every two minutes. It seemed a shame though, especially as James’ new partner seemed lovely and very similar Lydia. They would probably get on like a house on fire. But it was evident from her questions that James hadn’t told her about the situation, so perhaps he didn’t trust her reaction.

  James was one of a handful of people in the whole village who never judged them. In fact, Lee witnessed him defending Lydia on more than one occasion, turning his back on the tittle-tattling gossips.

  But he would see James in work every day, now they were going to share office space.

  Just before 5pm, he pulled up outside the cottage. He approached, as always, with caution. An empty building attracted all kinds of low lifes. As an ex-insurance man he knew that an alarm system was just a deterrent. If someone wanted to get in to a place, then get in they would
—alarm or no alarm.

  After giving the cottage the once-over, he brought his bag in from the car. Then, he strolled to the Chinese takeaway just five minutes up the road.

  Eric, the owner, knew his order by heart—chicken chow mein with rice and chips.

  As usual, Lee would eat half of it tonight and heat up the rest in the microwave tomorrow. He only had a toaster, microwave and mini fridge and didn’t see the point stocking the house with groceries. Instead, he made do with black tea and toast the rest of the time.

  He initially planned to work on the house after work every night and, to be fair, he’d done that for a while. But he soon became exhausted. So, he made the decision to pull it back to weekends only. That way the cottage would occupy his down time, and not allow him to sit around and mope. But things were becoming tight now. Lydia would be released in a few weeks, and, if he planned to bring her straight here, he needed to get his skates on.

  He devoured his meal, put the remaining food in the fridge, rinsed the plate and fork and set to work.

  The cottage had been a mere shell, and all he could afford without selling their other house first. It comprised of two bedrooms, an open plan lounge, kitchen and dinette. But the best part was the huge basement that the original owners used as a wine cellar. He intended to completely redevelop it at a later date. He got contractors to rewire and replumb the entire cottage, totally refit the main bathroom and add an ensuite to the master bedroom. He replaced most of the rotten floorboards and installed a flash new kitchen himself. All that needed doing now was to decorate each room and buy a cooker and a fridge. The carpets were ordered and paid for, the fitter just waiting for the nod, and the plumber needed a few finishing touches added to the ensuite. Lee felt confident it should be finished on time.

  He worked late into the night with the radio blaring, singing along to classic hits, and feeling lighter than he had in years. Six years to be exact.

  They’d met at university. Lydia studied business and management and he accounting and finance. But he piked out halfway through and got a job selling insurance instead. She graduated with honours and went on to work as a Facilities Manager in the new shopping centre in Nottingham. She left when she was seven months pregnant but had every intention of returning once Joseph was a few months old. However, with him being a difficult baby, Lydia never felt she had the energy to go back to work.